Collaboration vs. Altercation

When did the change happen from when parents and teachers worked together to parents wanting to fight the teachers?  In previous generations, teachers were held in such high esteem.  Now, they are looked at as the enemies.  Parents used to be able to threaten their children with telling their teachers if they did something bad because the children respected their teachers.  Now, the parents let their children know that they will threaten the teachers for them if they do anything that their child doesn’t like.  What happened, people?  Why are we not supporting the teachers and all that they try to do for our children each day.

Part of the issue is that parents put too much responsibility on the teachers.  Yes, I said it.  Teachers are teachers, not second parents.  It’s amazing how parents want the teachers to jump in to play the role of the second parent but don’t want to give them the same respect.  This has nothing to do with discipline, either.  It’s all about who should teach what.  Learning starts at home.  Period!  As parents, we have our children in the home for at least three years before they ever step foot in a school.  What are you doing with those three years?  You should be using that time to teach your child since that’s when they are the most receptive.  By the time they go to pre-school, your child should know how to count to at least 20, know their alphabet, can spell their name (at least their first name), can recite their phone number, know their colors, and know their shapes.  Some may think that it’s a long list.  No, it’s not.  It’s nothing in comparison to the number of children who can sing their favorite songs on the radio but not the ABC song.  Who’s fault is that?  The parents.  As parents, we have to do more than just feed our children and provide shelter.  It’s our job to mold them into the adults that they will become and it begins with education.  Imagine how much more a teacher can do if s/he doesn’t have to go over the basics every day like colors.  Don’t underestimate what your child can do.  Set the framework so that the teachers can do their jobs.

As your child gets older, it’s important to maintain the level of interest in their education that you had when they first started.  Unfortunately, some parents tend to gradually remove themselves from their child’s education as they grow.  Maybe they fear the inability to actually help with the assignments.  It’s true, you go back to school when your children are in school.  For most parents, it has been at least 20-30 years since they’ve seen the information that their children are now studying.  Sometimes a quick refresher is all that’s needed.  Sometimes the information is quite honestly just too challenging for us.  I know that I want my children to be smarter to me.  So I accept that there are some things that I won’t be able to answer for them.  That doesn’t mean that I remove myself completely and have a lack of interest or leave them to fend for themselves.  As a parent, I know that it’s time to tap all of the resources that are available.

I’ve found that schools and school districts are much more willing to help than many people realize.  It’s sad that parents automatically assume that the teachers and administration don’t really care and will ignore your requests for help.  I can honestly say that we’ve had the support of each school district in which our children were students.  The principals avail themselves to meetings about our children’s progress, the districts approve extra support that’s needed, and current teachers make recommendations for future teachers.  Some would say that this is done because we have “good” or “smart” children.  I won’t take from my children and say that it doesn’t play a part.  However, the major part is that we make the requests to sit down and TALK to the teachers and administration.  We ask what we can do at home to supplement what’s been done at school.  We give them information about what our children’s interests are in education and the things they work on at home to help them when they are making lesson plans.  We request teachers who are willing to differentiate.  We volunteer on many district and school committees.  Bottom line: We work WITH the schools.

It’s important to set the precedence of how communication will flow between the parents and school.  If the school is met with courtesy and kindness, they will reciprocate.  Don’t forget that they are people, too.  That means that they deserve the same amount of respect that we want.  They are not our slaves.  We can’t threaten them with the “you wouldn’t have a job if I pulled my child out of the district” argument.  We should say, “How can we work together to give my child the best education?”  Approach and attitude mean a lot.  We have to go back to respecting our teachers.  The collaboration between the parents and teachers is the answer to children’s success at school.

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